NO WAY !

4:30am…KRAAAWWWWWWW, KRAAAAAAWWWWW those giant black dragon crows, the skyward blight of Tokyo, feeding frenzy in starts before dawn on the unprotected trash yummies in easily broken open plastic bags sitting outside waiting for trash pickup. Better than any alarm. Just as undeniable.

All night….RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE every truck making a "shortcut" on it's way from the harbor to the Kachidoki bridge to Tsukiji fish market across the river is coming right by apartment.

Make coffee. Time to get milk. Let's take a short walk to the 24-hour Lawson's conveni (convenient store)…check out the neighborhood's potted chrysanthemum collection….BANG BANG BANG BRRRRRRPAPAPAPAPAPAPPAPAPAPAPPAA wow, NTT (National Telephone & Telephone) is laying in a new line on the street. Could my service get any better? Nice of them to tear up the street. WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM the never ending building of the new trainline…they have just started building the new station which will make my life so much better (later) but first let's tear up the street, the sidewalk, and work all night everynight everyweekend. Duck into the conveni…YAMMERYAMMERYAMMER decibel level UP for the ad pitches. At least there is singing and carryon mixed in. Back across the street WHAMWHAMWHAM and BRAPAPAPAPAPAPPAPA. Whew, what next?

8am….CHUNGACHUNGACHUNGA The new building next to my humble 7 story apt building isnearing completion---6 days a week and every Saturday they have been at this nonstop. It was 3 stories when I moved in last February. Now it has topped off at 23 and looms over. 8am marks the morning warm up exercises for the crew… tinkly music broooooaaaaaddcast for all to join in …ICHI NI, ICHI NI, swing those arms up! Now get those drills and saws going BUDADADAA, SHWEE, SHWWAAAA, SHWEEE, SHWAAAA…

8:30am…RUMBLE SQEEEEEL KU-RASH WHOMPUS…the destruction crew has arrived for the sad duty of tearing down three dilapidated yet picturesque wooden homes with tile roofs. Another piece of history is cutout of the old life style with the precision of surgery. A tiny yet implacable jaws-of-death machine takes it out in record time. Ancient neighbors come out of their similarly built homes to talk morosely and look at the newly opening sky where before someone they knew lived. Oh, I am getting morose myself…

10:00am…KONNICHIWA MINNA SAN…BIDEO…TEREBI….WARUI DENKI KOTO O ah, the first of the tiny vans with the large megaphone atop has arrived, to cruise the streets in case there are any more videos, televisions, broken electrical appliances that they can haul away (for a fee) from last weekend, when they also came by…joined now by another one selling laundry poles, in case yours was stolen since last weekend by those crows ZANGYAO O URIMASU…CHATTERCHATTERCHATTER… This all bounces off the 10 story walls of the giant frozen fish refrigerated building across the canal….ZAN/SAN GYAO/AOAOAOA/URIM/URIM/URI/ASSU/S/S/S/ etc…

10:30am…gotta escape and go across town to buy feather boas and red felt for the Santa hat (more on this, later)…Shinjuku station, the usual uproar of a million people making their way in and then out of 60 exits…I inch up the stairs, to BOOM BOOM BOOM HABBADABHAABBADAAHABBADADABBADA!!!!! BOOM BOOM BOOM yes, it appears to be the school team guy and drum band cheerleading demo! Guys wearing their black German-1930's style school uniforms, waving their arms around in energetic group display, with FULL accompaniment. Older guys wearing striped hakama stand around looking vaguely paternal. Let's all applaud and yell CLAPPITY CLAPPITY CLAP & BANZAI!!!BOOM BOOM….ringy ringy ringy ringy hey, is that my tiny cell phone trying to make itself heard in this uproar???? I punch in but too late! Rats!

OK, across the street, trying to find this place according to the sketchymap given by very well meaning clerks earlier this morning, the usual TRAFFIC MOVE OVER, RED FLASHING LIGHTS FOR MEDICAL TRUCK PLUS WHOOEEEE WHOOOEEEE WHOOOEEEE walk around ten blocks PACHINKO PARLOR--MILLIONS OF STEEL BALLS RACING FOR THE CUPS RAPPADAPADRAPPADAPAA before finding HMV WITH LATEST TEEN IDORU SONG AHHYEEEEOOOSSAAABISSSHIIIII the store right outside the exit I came out of…in I go IRRASHAIMASE (hi ya, come on in) IKKAI WA URADASHI (sale on the first floor!) etc etc….buy, flee, BOOM BOOM YELL YELL YELL (the school fight songs continue) into the train station HUBUBB HUBBUB HUBBUB

3pm On the train CLACKITY CLACK, CLACKITY CLACK, CLACKITY CLACK lulled into a false sense of tranquility and mass self-hypnosis…

4pm Onto the bike to ride up the main street of Ginza full of trucks ROAR ROAR BLATT BLATT BLATT (very few honking horns, actually) and holiday JINGLES…the local St. Luke's hospital bells peal out a good one for ON-WARD-KU-RI-SHI-TAN-SO-O-RU-DU-AAAAAA----*

5pm Cruise by the Tsukiji fish market. It's quiet as the Sunday day off approaches. Approaching the fish market's jinja (Shinto shrine building), I hear band practice of another sort…the guys are practicing the ancient traditional music…bagpipe harmony and this must have the same roots…hand drums PITTY PAT PITTY PAT short wooden flutes SCCREEE WHEE WHOOO…as I pass, the sounds all combine to create a sound EXACTLY like the metal doorway being rolled down on another store entrance….a remarkable concurrence of wonderfulness and weirdness.

5:15 Down my street past the 2-story golfing range POIK POIK POPPITY POPPITY POP (popcorn makes the same sound as all those gold balls being twocked). Home at last.

6pm Darkness has descended…time for the plaintive and lovely call of the hand-drawn sweet potato seller in his cart with the wood burning campfire, roasting those potatoes…first the horn…BLAAAAAAATTTTT…then the song…YAKIMOOOOO, YAKIIIIIIIIMO, MINNA SAMA OOOOOO, KURIURI YAKIIIIIIIMMMOOOOOO….

Sunday 5am…the local Buddhist building sends it's large booming gong out over the daybreaking Kachidoki residents…deeply calm, deeply meditative…BOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNN, BOOOOWWWWNNNNN. Thank god for the Buddhists.

Your aurally challenged reporter, now wearing large Miffy earmuffs, Patricia Yarrow

------------BONUS JAPLISH SIGHTINGS----

Mysterious businesses written on the sides of very small vans:

JAPALISH CO.LTD
At last, someone admits it!

BRAIN TRANSFER CO. LTC.
I asked, they move models and equipment for photo shoots around Tokyo. They weren't sure what "brain" referred to.